So while my attempts at updating this blog have been dismal at best, I thought I would record some of my thoughts and feelings at discovering little Bundle is head up.
We discovered Bun was head up at about 36 weeks. The doctor recommended a sonogram right about 35, so it was close to the end of 36 weeks that we discovered he was definitely head up and shortly thereafter had the conversation with the doctor that our options were either an external version - which had a 50/50 percent change of working - and/or a c-section if that wasn't helpful. Needless to say, for one who was hoping for an un-medicated birth, this was not fun news. So here are some thoughts:
Logistics
Finding out a baby is breech is challenging logistically. Of course you only find out late in the game - about 3 weeks before you're actually due - and by then plans have been finalized. I had leave all regulated out in order to cover maternity leave and two weeks past my due date. I had things to do the week before my due date that I thought I'd have time to do. And mentally I was just prepared to give birth late September/early October rather than mid-September, a few days after I left work. (They schedule c-section for breech births one week before your due date so you don't go into labor). Suddenly I had to schedule more doctors appointments, was out of work more often and started nesting like mad in order to get things ready for this upcoming Wednesday. Its not bad, just overwhelming during an already overwhelming stage of life.
Emotions
It may just be my personality, however I definitely struggled with feeling like it was my fault Bun was breech. I could blame myself for anything from sitting most of the day at work to simply not paying attention to how he was feeling. It was a hard struggle at first and I appreciated when people reassured me that these things happen and there was nothing I could do to prevent it. Its taken awhile for that message to get to my skull, and still sometimes I need to remind myself that this is out of my control, even though some blogs or websites I have read seem to imply we can control everything in our bodies if we use the right method. At least in the case of breech babies - sometimes you just can't, and I've learned to be okay with that.
I've found it also challenging to be trying everything we can to get him to turn over - yes acupuncture (which has been interesting), chiropractor, hanging off the couch, cold on my belly, playing music at the bottom of my belly, anything we read might work - while also having to prepare for a c-section simultaneously and concurrently struggling with "Am I doing enough to get him to turn around?" Its been trying to figure out where to put my emotions and hope. At this point, 1.5 days before the scheduled c-section on Wednesday morning, we're pretty much planning on the c-section while also mildly hoping he has turned around. I'm glad we tried what we could, however it has been challenging to be shooting for one goal (natural delivery) while planning for another (c-section).
Knowing what I know now, what I'd do different
Next time around I'll be thinking to check if the baby is breech around 33-34 weeks. This is because the techniques to get babies to turn around - swimming, acupuncture, chiropractor, etc - are most effective between 34-36 weeks. I found out a little to 'late" - although no one method is guaranteed to turn the baby around.
That's it! Thanks for reading!
