Our Ideal Birth - What we learned through the c-section

In preparation for our sons arrival, we took Bradley birthing classes, hoping for an un-medicated delivery of our son. Approximately 3 weeks before he was born however, we were informed our son was breech - a non-starter in many ways for even a vaginal delivery, let alone an unmedicated one. Standard medical practice is a c-section for breech babies and while there is ONE doctor in our county that does breech births - it appeared our best option if our son was still breech was a c-section. He decided to stay very much head-up until the scheduled delivery, and he was indeed delivered healthfully, via c-section.

A healthy baby was our ideal birth. And we had that. It was not the ideal birth experience, and I've come to accept that. However I have not regretted taking the natural birth classes, which I wanted to outline below, as well as helpful pointers for any coaches who find their wives on the surgical table to deliver their child.

Reasons I'm glad I took natural child birth classes, even though a c-section was medically necessary:

* It prepared us to talk about my health, be aware of all our options, have a much better understanding of female anatomy, and know all our options during delivery. When we got the news about our baby's position, we were in a much better place to know what our options were going forward and MUCH better equipped to discuss what options to turn him we were willing to pursue, and what options we were not. I don't think we would have had the same candor and comfort discussing the situation without the 8+ weeks of classes.

* Knowing how to ask questions of our health care providers and feeling empowered to do so. When we found out he was breech we were able to investigate natural ways of turning him, rather than simply following our OB's guidance (which wasn't awful, just not the full picture). We were able to ask questions of our health providers the entire time, which gave us a deeper and more robust understanding of the process and recovery rather than relying on them to volunteer information. My husband especially felt empowered through the class to ask questions of our health care providers and expect answers.

* It has helped me mourn the loss of my ideal birth experience in a healthy way. I feel like I have a much better understanding of what a natural child birth *would* have been, so I can mourn specifics - such as not being able to see him right away or experience contractions or my husband's labor coaching - rather than a nebulous generality about a glorious natural birth I'd seeing in the films. This has helped my mental stability and move on afterwards to focusing on motherhood.

* It absolutely prepared my husband, my birth coach, to support me during the entire surgical process, especially the prolonged hospital stay. Through the classes we had practiced relaxation techniques and had discussed multiple times the best ways my husband can support me. This was invaluable in keeping me calm and relaxed as I entered motherhood for the first time from a hospital bed!

Points for coaches of C-section deliveries

* TOUCH. During the procedure, both pre and post-delivery, touch her face and head as much as possible. She cannot feel anything except her arms (which she isn't allowed to move) and her head and neck. You may want to research pressure points or other facial massage techniques to help her feel connected to you and relaxed in a very sterile environment.

*SIGHT. If you are there, keep talking to her, or get in a place where she can see you. She can only see the sheet in front of her and directly to either side. That means if you are even standing behind her, but are not talking to or touching her, she can feel very abandoned or alone. Keep letting her know you are there! 

* CAMERA. Know your camera very well! This is absolutely critical to capture the first shots of your child. It came in especially calming for us as well. Once our son stopped crying - which was the only way I could be connected to him as he was not in eye-shot - while my husband was with him, and I was alone, the nurse asked me what our son's name was. I started to cry feeling the depth of my separation from my son and my husband. She immediately got my husband who showed me the pictures of my son and then stayed by my side the rest of the time. Seeing the pictures of my son calmed me down until they brought him to me.

*ADVOCATE. She is very helpless in a very busy operation room, in addition to being disoriented due to the situation and necessary medications. Remind health care workers about the importance of nursing as soon as possible even in the OR (which is absolutely possible, our child's nurse put him to my chest as soon as he started rooting!), watch to see if she is coughing or is about to throw up and ask for assistance as she will not be able to talk very loud (she is numb up to her chest and cannot breathe deeply), keep in touch with her emotional and physical state. 

*POST DELIVERY. 

- Continue to encourage all you learned in class. For us this was as much skin-to-skin contact as soon as possible to help establish the physical bond we lost because of the surgical environment.

- Continue to encourage her to relax through the intense pain of the first time she gets out of bed in addition to all the other pain she will be experiencing. 

- Stating how proud you are of her even though it wasn't a natural delivery will still lift her spirits as she recovers from an intense surgery. 

- Keep on top of her medications and how they are affecting her. We discovered after the fact that one of the pain medications was making me pass out during nursing- I just thought I was tired!

- Delight in the birth of your child! This is the best part of the experience and their healthy arrival is worth celebrating!

Being Breech

So while my attempts at updating this blog have been dismal at best, I thought I would record some of my thoughts and feelings at discovering little Bundle is head up.

We discovered Bun was head up at about 36 weeks. The doctor recommended a sonogram right about 35, so it was close to the end of 36 weeks that we discovered he was definitely head up and shortly thereafter had the conversation with the doctor that our options were either an external version - which had a 50/50 percent change of working - and/or a c-section if that wasn't helpful. Needless to say, for one who was hoping for an un-medicated birth, this was not fun news. So here are some thoughts:

Logistics
Finding out a baby is breech is challenging logistically. Of course you only find out late in the game - about 3 weeks before you're actually due - and by then plans have been finalized. I had leave all regulated out in order to cover maternity leave and two weeks past my due date. I had things to do the week before my due date that I thought I'd have time to do. And mentally I was just prepared to give birth late September/early October rather than mid-September, a few days after I left work. (They schedule c-section for breech births one week before your due date so you don't go into labor). Suddenly I had to schedule more doctors appointments, was out of work more often and started nesting like mad in order to get things ready for this upcoming Wednesday. Its not bad, just overwhelming during an already overwhelming stage of life.

Emotions
It may just be my personality, however I definitely struggled with feeling like it was my fault Bun was breech. I could blame myself for anything from sitting most of the day at work to simply not paying attention to how he was feeling. It was a hard struggle at first and I appreciated when people reassured me that these things happen and there was nothing I could do to prevent it. Its taken awhile for that message to get to my skull, and still sometimes I need to remind myself that this is out of my control, even though some blogs or websites I have read seem to imply we can control everything in our bodies if we use the right method. At least in the case of breech babies - sometimes you just can't, and I've learned to be okay with that.

I've found it also challenging to be trying everything we can to get him to turn over - yes acupuncture (which has been interesting), chiropractor, hanging off the couch, cold on my belly, playing music at the bottom of my belly, anything we read might work - while also having to prepare for a c-section simultaneously and concurrently struggling with "Am I doing enough to get him to turn around?" Its been trying to figure out where to put my emotions and hope. At this point, 1.5 days before the scheduled c-section on Wednesday morning, we're pretty much planning on the c-section while also mildly hoping he has turned around. I'm glad we tried what we could, however it has been challenging to be shooting for one goal (natural delivery) while planning for another (c-section).



Knowing what I know now, what I'd do different
Next time around I'll be thinking to check if the baby is breech around 33-34 weeks. This is because the techniques to get babies to turn around - swimming, acupuncture, chiropractor, etc - are most effective between 34-36 weeks. I found out a little to 'late" - although no one method is guaranteed to turn the baby around.

That's it! Thanks for reading!

The kingdom of God is like a toll road...

Sara moved into this home just over two years ago. I remember filling up the vehicles several times and driving around the capital to bring the stuff up to our new apartment. There was a slight change to the drive's routine the first time I borrowed the Smiths' Caravan to drive it on such a trip. I followed my usual process of getting off the Beltway, and heading to the toll plaza toward Dulles, as my turn came up, I rolled down the window and reached out with a one dollar bill in my hand (ah, the good ol' days when that was enough to pass the toll…). But instead of taking it, the nice lady kept her hands to herself and said something about EZpass. That's when I first noticed the white box next to the mirror in front of my head! My toll fare had already been paid. So I pulled my Washington back in and kept moving.

I was recently thinking about this event, and it made me think of our salvation through Christ. Yes, the way to Heaven requires payment of a "toll" - namely the cost resulting from all our sins. 

Trying to work our way to salvation would be like getting to the toll booth, and then digging under the car seats and looking in all the nooks and crannies for loose change trying to amass enough coins to pay our own way. Yet no matter how hard we try, the cost is so much higher than what we could come up with. There's no way we can cover the cost ourselves. And similarly to how the Smiths had paid my toll by virtue of their EZpass being charged and in the windshield, so has God already paid our way into His presence, which we gain access to with Christ in our lives.

And as I felt silly when this happened and I had the funds to easily pay my way onto the Dulles Toll Road, try to imagine how ridiculous we would look if we sweated and fretted working hard to make our way forward when our Lord has already filled the proverbial EZpass at his own cost! Allowing us fly through without stopping so we can be on your way, getting closer and closer to the destination.

I know, the analogy does break down in some respects. But I kinda like it.

Daily constitutionals

Recently Jon and I decided to start a new habit - daily walks. It's pretty important for me right now, being much more limited in the physical activity I can do, and also for Jon who sits at a desk every day. So in our typical fashion - me having a great idea and Jon who actually has the will power to execute the great idea - we've been "getting up" 30 minutes earlier (aka, not snoozing....) and going for a walk.

I have to say I'm finding them quite addictive. It's been about three weeks now of nearly daily walks and while it is not getting *easier*, it is getting more desirable. I'm finding myself frequently emulating the behavior of our old family dog Cally who would nag and nag and nag (as only a dog can) until she was taken out for her 3pm walk. I get really excited for my walking buddies, and I have one at work as well, who take time to walk me around the block even at my ever slowing pace, while claiming it is good for them too. I'm almost anxious until we go and am always so glad and relaxed when we get back. No wonder she stared us down for hours.

Now these aren't power walks, they are more like power strolls. More accurately - more stroll and less power. Usually they begin with a "are you up for this" and "yes, you?" followed by "okay, sure." Once we get started you'll hear one of us muttering "This is really good for us." "Yes, I know" "Thank you for doing this." "You're welcome. Thank you. " "How are you doing?"  "Waking up." And basically our conversation follows this line of thought for about thirty minutes. Riveting for the morning I assure you.

Today we upped up the action by helping clear of trails of branches and small trees which fell during the storm. I found this relatively exhilarating. We do not have a yard, so it's nice to get outside and work in the nature.  Well, Jon moved the big branches and I picked up wet leaves and moved smaller branches, but it was still productive, and we may have inspired another person to pitch in which is nice. 


So there we have it- hopefully we can keep this up for the next three months!

Impromptu Dates - the best

Last night we toddled off to Wegmans to go grocery shopping. Of course we had waited until practically the last minute and there was little to no food in the house, so we ate dinner at Wegmans as well! (YUMMY!) While we were sitting there, Jon noticed the advertisements for the family movie night, which had started 15 minutes before. They were showing "Megamind," so we decided to delay our grocery shopping extravaganza and eat our dinner in front of a big screen with several other families and hordes of kids. It was great! What a fun movie. Then afterwards shopping was easy because the post-work crowd had cleared out, so we had a lot of space at the store (which is conveniently opened until midnight. midnight!) We were able to get so many needed groceries, plus stocked up on a lot of gluten-free expensive items, and our bill was WAY under what we thought it was going to be.

Probably my favorite grocery trip ever!

Two Sundays, Two of Jon's Churches!

While we were France, we were able to attend two of the churches Jon had attended as a child and of course where his parents worked. As I know they will want to see some of the pictures of the people we saw (because we can't remember their names!) here they are!

Massy:

 (This is the front of the church, which was Jon's dad's first church in France)

(The older couple babysat when Jon was a baby; the man on the right remembered when the Jerdans announced he was coming!)

(The church is in like a half-basement type - here's Jon with the sign)

(Jon's pastor in high school)

Montpellier:

(Very lovely people who miss the Jerdans! Jon looks very tall)

Week 13: Tenant's Agreement

To our newest tenant:

Welcome to your new home! We know that you may feel your arrival to be somewhat sudden and unexpected, however do know we have been awaiting your arrival with great anticipation and for quite some time! Just to let you know, here are how the next few months and years will most likely play out.

Agreements of your stay:

You are happily welcome to fully reside in your current situation for the next six months. All your food will be provided right to you, and we understand your warmth and comfort are amply covered. That said, after six months, if you have not by your own volition decided to move out due to the cramped space, you will be evicted. Neither process will be easy we hear, but certainly well worth it.

No need to worry however! You will have all the warmth, comfort, love, and food available to you in your next home. You'll spend plenty of time in our arms as you get used to things such as light and noise, and we'll be sure to take care of your every need, and most likely some of your wants as well. We anticipate a great deal of cooing and laughing!

This arrangement will last in various forms for the next eighteen years as you continue to grow and develop. After that, you will be encouraged to go build your own life in a location out from under our roof.

There need not be any concern however, because for the rest of your life you will have a firm and steady place in our hearts, minds, and prayers. You will be loved unconditionally and treasured for the gift from God that you are. This is our agreement and promise to you.

We can't wait to officially meet you in six months little Bundle (also you will get a new name at some point!), and we are so glad you are here.

Valentine's Day

Jon is always full of surprises. And I shouldn't be surprised when he surprises me, however I always am.

One reason I shouldn't be surprised is the simple fact that most of Jon's surprises revolve around dates. The date of our first date, kiss, engagement, and wedding, etc. It can also fall on the monthiversary of all of these dates.

I had, however, underestimated his celebrations of "normal" holidays - especially Valentine's day. For some reason I had it stuck in my head that this was not a day we celebrated. I have no idea why - I just did.

Needless to say, now the Valentine's Day of 2012 is the day Jon knocked it out of the park - and Sara forgot!

I had had a rough day before, so waking up that morning was not something I was particularly looking forward to. Stumbling around getting ready for work, I went to the kitchen to make my lunch or something. Apparently Jon got up as well, because when I returned to the bedroom there was a card and a small box on the bed!!

I was so surprised!

I LOVE CARDS!!!!!!!!
(and Jon of course....)

The card was beautiful and made me cry. I stared at the box awhile asking "What is it?" [I still don't know why I do this everytime he gives me something, however he always looks at me the same way like "well - open it silly!"] Once I opened it I saw a beautiful pair of sparkly studs. Not real diamonds, thanks goodness! (I"m scared I'd loose them). A beautiful pair of earrings to make a girl proud.

That night we went to see "The Artist" - which I HIGHLY recommend seeing in theaters. Loved it. A perfect movie for a Valentines Day, with mostly French actors (and producers?) to boot. Not that you could hear their accents though...

And tonight - to boot- he made dinner :)

Love this man.

I knew you'd miss us!

So recently we've been getting a steady trickle of family and friends mentioning how much they miss the blog. Thanks guys! In traditional fashion here's some basic things going on with us:

Jon is loving work. and it's growing
We're still scouting out areas to live. Any thoughts on Reisterstown or the suburbs of Baltimore?
We recently went to Wegmans and were WAY impressed by the prices there. It's awesome.

That's it for now :o) Thanks for missing us!

Thankful for Gluten Free diets...

Recently I was reading a list of healthy snacks to take to work. Baby carrots? Yup. Home made trail mix? Sure thing. Yogurt? Have it every day.

I wondered why this was - I'm not a generic healthy eater, and typically I get the mix of whatever is most healthy and most convenient.

But due to the non-gluten eating status of my life - the healthy stuff is the most convenient I can get! So very grateful for that these days.

First weekend in 2012

I have been remiss in blogging, simply as the beginning of the year began with a bang! Not literally, of course, however we had a beautiful influx of guests, including our grandparents!!!

Grammy Ona and Pop-pop Tom drove out here to visit. It is always so much fun to have visitors! They took us out to eat (yahoo!) and then we went to the Udvar-Hazy Air & Space Museum. Here are some pictures from the day:

Let me tell you - the way to go to this museum is with a pilot! And a smart one to boot. Here is Pop-pop Tom watching a live feed from the space station, while next to the Enterprise. Very cool.

So pop wanted to see the jets, and I wasn't sure why, however I followed along. He saw this one, turned around and stated "I flew this one." Which is totally cool! My favorite part was the young man who was reading about the plane who also turned around and asked me "He flew this plane?!" I nodded, also incredulously. It was really neat.

 Here are the two INTPs in my life reading dutifully about something cool. They both seemed wrapped up in the complexity of the machinery. I think they look cute (especially the one on the left - Grammy Ona may disagree though... ;o) )

Speaking of Grammy Ona, she was indeed there. I was moved as they both stood by the Enola Gay talking about the plane and, most likely, its most renowned flight. (You can see Grammy Ona's Purse... pop certainly isn't carrying it!)

I wish I could have captured a picture of the IMAX film we watched "Red Flag" - however you can't quite catch an IMAX movie with a phone camera... that's the point. It was fun to chat afterwards about Pop's days working in Nevada.

Thanks for visiting!!!

Spacial Relief

First, we are tremendously excited to be hosting Jon's sister this upcoming week as she scopes out the place for her family to live! In preparation I decided to get a few things done around the house, as I mentioned before, including containing all our keep-sake memories and various papers we've collected over the past year or so.

We completed that task last night, and I'm shocked by the relief I now have walking into this room. I did not realize how much energy it takes away from you on a daily basis to know there is chaos in your home, and even more so to see it and live with it.

Right now on my left is carpet I haven't seen in months. On my right is more carpet I haven't seen in months. On top of my desk are all the things that were on the carpet. [haha, just joking!] I walk through the kitchen, living room, dining room, and craft area and breathe a sigh of relief. I look out on the balcony and can enjoy the nature rather than looking at the mess. The pile on my desk seems much easier to tackle than it had before, and in general I feel so much more willing to take on new tasks.

Lesson learned? There is no time like the present to put off what you feel like doing tomorrow. It makes today so much better.

"Spring" Cleaning

Today I got umption in my gumption to clean the house on this holiday. Inspired by the arrival of guests in a few days, I decided to get a lot of the chores done around here that were piling up. The day was brilliantly interuppted by calls from quite a few family members, which was a lovely distraction.

Now I am going to list all of my accomplishments, not to brag, but more so to encourage myself with the daunting list of everything else left to do!

- Got wood at Home Depot to cover the hold in our sewing table, spray painted it black, so now it looks nice
- Spray painted a bulletin board from church to see if that looked nice. It does! Just have to figure out how to get paint in the crack.
- took down the tree and all Christmas decorations
- cleaned off balcony, including throwing out old plants, cleaning out our poor dying vermicomposter (sorry guys, can't have you and your odd flies in the house this year), and sweeping it all up.
- cleaned and organized the craft area
- Did a lot of dishes
- vacuumed the house
- began - and nigh completed - going through our memorabilia in the office to make it look less like one big ginormous pile.
- made a grocery list.
- miraculously cooked dinner
- got some good storage boxes from office depot
- got our Colorku board all set up in a safe place.
- put our vacuum cleaner together after having to clean it out thoroughly
- Oh! Laundry! We did some of that too.


Sounds pretty good! Here's what's left:
- Discovered 3 boxes of *stuff* left over from graduate school and who knows what, including office supplies and piles of paper.
- Jon needs to finish a huge pile of memorabilia (consequence of having an organized wife - the bachelor boxes of stuff no longer cut it!)
- Sara needs to clean off all the stuff on her desk that she found during this process and needs to find a home for.
- Figure out a way to improve the bulletin boards
- Grocery shop - having food would be very very nice.

Now if you have read my to-do list thus far, impressive! It was nice to have a day away from the computer and feeling relieved about some of the necessary accomplishments around here. Now here's to the next holiday, when we can finish a lot of it up!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year all! We rang in the New Year by pausing "30 Rock,' giving thanks for the blessing of the past year and hope for the new year, and then kept watching 30 Rock.

I don't know what it is about that show, but I can't stop watching!

Today we also de-Christmased our home, went to church, had fondue with the Dallands, took Sunday afternoon naps - (the best!) and just enjoyed being around each other. I love Sundays.