Ode to Cally

While exciting pictures and news from our trip will be posted shortly, today I think I personally need to blog about our dear old dog, Cally "Tabitha Smith." She has been slowly declining for nearly the past 3 years, and in fact in two months she would have been 16 years old, quite old for a mid-sized dog.

However as she has lost control of her bladder for the past few weeks (or months) and today began to decline very fast, our mother made the brave decision to have her put down before she suffered any more. I think it was the wisest decision mom could have possibly made, and I am very proud of her.

I'll miss Cally, perhaps not exactly as she was - a very old dog who could barely walk, see, or wag her tail- but for who she was in our lives over the past 16 years.

When Cally came into our lives, she was a spunky rebellious dog, and we logged many hours chasing her around the neighborhood. She eventually calmed down, and became an obedient, cleaver, trusting dog, who always seemed to be around when the family gathered, going from person to person to get petted or to convince them to throw the ball. She was at home as I completed 3 college degrees, always glad to see me when I would return from who-knows-where, and ever ready to go outside!

When I came home after the second degree, confused and unsure where to go in life, she was there with the dog-like nonjudgmental spirit (well, unless you weren't playing ball with her on her schedule...). After the other siblings left, she was the one who slept by my bedside during those lonely mid-twenty single years, who was sad to see me leave in the morning (if she herself was awake...), and always glad when I returned. During that overwhelmingly self-absorbed time of life, with academia and work, I needed to take care of something other than myself, and Cally helped fill that void in my life for nearly 3 years. It felt good to know I needed to be home to make sure she was walked and fed, and emotionally I needed that type of responsibility.

She taught me how to relax, to just enjoy being around others. She forced me outdoors when I'd be more inclined to stay inside. I learned basic discipline and confidence from our walks around the neighborhood, and even got to know our neighbors better because of them.  She was a good pet-buddy.

She of course was around when Jon and I started dating! I'll always remember during one of our first long conversations in the kitchen, we heard a steady banging at her food bowl, and then looked down to see she had dragged it with her paw from the kitchen island to the table! Clearly it was time to eat, and she made that perfectly clear to us. She was oh-so-smart at times.

I witnessesed some of Jon's first "disciplining" skills with getting the dog in the house - forceful and kind - because as nice as Cally was, she was indeed selective at times with what she "heard" in her old age.

We'd walk Cally a little during our talks, and sometimes she'd sneak on the porch when we were swinging. It was nice to have her around at such a fun time in my life. Then in October Jon swept me away into the next phase of my life, which has been filled joy and gladness I had not yet known, and I finally had someone to take care of, converse with, and truly know.

These past few months I've seen Cally when we've gone home, noticing how age was beginning to leave its unmistakable mark. She always was delighted to see us, however her ability to even hear when we came in, let alone greet us, has declined, as well as her energy for her typical enthusiastic greetings. By this weekend, we knew the end was near. I said good-bye to her Sunday night, noting that her spirit was still loving and so glad to see me, while also seeing her body could no longer support her enthusiasm. Gone were the days of grabbing a ball or the pull toy, or even rolling over for a tummy rub. She gladly accepted scratches on the ears, but I think even after standing she was getting tired. I knew in my heart it was time.

I'm glad she is at rest. I'm unsure whether animals go to heaven, however I think all that they embody to us - the unconditional love, acceptance, friendship, comfort, laughter, enthusiasm, appreciation of the outdoors, and personality - is certainly a reflection of our Father towards us. Creation is a reflection of God's glory and, in some small way, I think Cally reflected that at times. I think when we arrive at our Lord's side, the joy we have found in the presence of his created animals will be there in a small way (if there is such a thing as "small" at God's side...).

And I think the pain I feel now is also part of God's design somehow; to take and love another being who cannot love you the same way in return, and to somehow be okay with that. I'm very grateful for her faithful pet presence in my life.