Our Ideal Birth - What we learned through the c-section

In preparation for our sons arrival, we took Bradley birthing classes, hoping for an un-medicated delivery of our son. Approximately 3 weeks before he was born however, we were informed our son was breech - a non-starter in many ways for even a vaginal delivery, let alone an unmedicated one. Standard medical practice is a c-section for breech babies and while there is ONE doctor in our county that does breech births - it appeared our best option if our son was still breech was a c-section. He decided to stay very much head-up until the scheduled delivery, and he was indeed delivered healthfully, via c-section.

A healthy baby was our ideal birth. And we had that. It was not the ideal birth experience, and I've come to accept that. However I have not regretted taking the natural birth classes, which I wanted to outline below, as well as helpful pointers for any coaches who find their wives on the surgical table to deliver their child.

Reasons I'm glad I took natural child birth classes, even though a c-section was medically necessary:

* It prepared us to talk about my health, be aware of all our options, have a much better understanding of female anatomy, and know all our options during delivery. When we got the news about our baby's position, we were in a much better place to know what our options were going forward and MUCH better equipped to discuss what options to turn him we were willing to pursue, and what options we were not. I don't think we would have had the same candor and comfort discussing the situation without the 8+ weeks of classes.

* Knowing how to ask questions of our health care providers and feeling empowered to do so. When we found out he was breech we were able to investigate natural ways of turning him, rather than simply following our OB's guidance (which wasn't awful, just not the full picture). We were able to ask questions of our health providers the entire time, which gave us a deeper and more robust understanding of the process and recovery rather than relying on them to volunteer information. My husband especially felt empowered through the class to ask questions of our health care providers and expect answers.

* It has helped me mourn the loss of my ideal birth experience in a healthy way. I feel like I have a much better understanding of what a natural child birth *would* have been, so I can mourn specifics - such as not being able to see him right away or experience contractions or my husband's labor coaching - rather than a nebulous generality about a glorious natural birth I'd seeing in the films. This has helped my mental stability and move on afterwards to focusing on motherhood.

* It absolutely prepared my husband, my birth coach, to support me during the entire surgical process, especially the prolonged hospital stay. Through the classes we had practiced relaxation techniques and had discussed multiple times the best ways my husband can support me. This was invaluable in keeping me calm and relaxed as I entered motherhood for the first time from a hospital bed!

Points for coaches of C-section deliveries

* TOUCH. During the procedure, both pre and post-delivery, touch her face and head as much as possible. She cannot feel anything except her arms (which she isn't allowed to move) and her head and neck. You may want to research pressure points or other facial massage techniques to help her feel connected to you and relaxed in a very sterile environment.

*SIGHT. If you are there, keep talking to her, or get in a place where she can see you. She can only see the sheet in front of her and directly to either side. That means if you are even standing behind her, but are not talking to or touching her, she can feel very abandoned or alone. Keep letting her know you are there! 

* CAMERA. Know your camera very well! This is absolutely critical to capture the first shots of your child. It came in especially calming for us as well. Once our son stopped crying - which was the only way I could be connected to him as he was not in eye-shot - while my husband was with him, and I was alone, the nurse asked me what our son's name was. I started to cry feeling the depth of my separation from my son and my husband. She immediately got my husband who showed me the pictures of my son and then stayed by my side the rest of the time. Seeing the pictures of my son calmed me down until they brought him to me.

*ADVOCATE. She is very helpless in a very busy operation room, in addition to being disoriented due to the situation and necessary medications. Remind health care workers about the importance of nursing as soon as possible even in the OR (which is absolutely possible, our child's nurse put him to my chest as soon as he started rooting!), watch to see if she is coughing or is about to throw up and ask for assistance as she will not be able to talk very loud (she is numb up to her chest and cannot breathe deeply), keep in touch with her emotional and physical state. 

*POST DELIVERY. 

- Continue to encourage all you learned in class. For us this was as much skin-to-skin contact as soon as possible to help establish the physical bond we lost because of the surgical environment.

- Continue to encourage her to relax through the intense pain of the first time she gets out of bed in addition to all the other pain she will be experiencing. 

- Stating how proud you are of her even though it wasn't a natural delivery will still lift her spirits as she recovers from an intense surgery. 

- Keep on top of her medications and how they are affecting her. We discovered after the fact that one of the pain medications was making me pass out during nursing- I just thought I was tired!

- Delight in the birth of your child! This is the best part of the experience and their healthy arrival is worth celebrating!