Humor

So, if you knew Ticky Tacky, you knew a man who could laugh. Laugh at himself, laugh at others, while not laughing at the expense of others. When we saw him last, a few weeks before he died, he was still laughing and making jokes. I heard he was smiling at the laughter around him even days before he passed.

When we'd visit, he'd often have a new show we could watch - and it was quite the ordeal when they discovered British Comedies. My oh my, I remember when they found "Keeping Up Appearances" we watched so many episodes, and he'd laugh and laugh. Then we'd troll through old comedies, and I remember clearly introducing them to YouTube and revisiting the old comedy shows back in the day. They were funny then, and they are still funny now!

When we visited him in the hospital once awhile ago, he was cracking jokes left and right. I can't remember a single one, but I do remember thinking how interesting that he would be making people laugh in the hospital. Joking about himself, doctors, and whatever. It always cracked us up, and we always knew it would be special.

I wish there was a way to capture it all - the way he'd grin, land a joke we weren't expecting, or hear a new joke for the first time and burst out in laughter. But there simply isn't a way to write about the experience of humor effectively enough so that your reader experiences it.

So I'll have to make a recommendation. If you want to experience a small taste of Ticky Tacky's laughter and joy, get to know my dad. Or my brother. Or my sister. Or several of my aunt, uncles, and cousins, and maybe even their kids. And even those who married into the family, like my mom, Jess, Jon, and all the other "in-loves" [what we call in-laws!]. Many of them whom are deeply gifted with filling up a room with delight, and all of us delighting themselves in the laughter of others and filling the room with our laughter as well. Listen to their laughter, and you'll hear Ticky Tacky's laughter too.

Constancy

This Sunday Ticky-Tacky went to be with God. This is personally my first great loss, and I'm slowly beginning to understand what it means to loose someone like this. To process, I'd like to dedicate the next week of blogs to something I remember about him, and see where that takes us. Okay by you?  Good. Let's begin.

Constancy
As I'm sure many things are, I don't think I realized what a steady constant presence Ticky Tacky has been in my life until he is gone. Between all our many moves, and my many moves and countries later, Ticky Tacky and Mom-mom would always be found in the same house in nearly the same state - kept up but nothing fancy. The home had an odd way of luring you to sleep with it's steady character- we'd come to visit them both and find ourselves falling on couches later on! What a visit, but they always said they enjoyed it anyway. And seemed to understand.

We'd come as a family, and later on I'd come alone as an adult, then one day bringing Jon to pass their approval sometime two years ago. Ticky Tacky was always so glad to see us, or even just me, in his own way, generally leaving me to visit with mom-mom after a certain amount of time, although only after taking me out to lunch first. I can't tell you how much that meant during my single years, to be taken out by my grandpa with my grandma. Afterwards he'd generally vacate the womanly chatter to the sanity of the living room or his office.

All the rooms in their house have gone through so many changes - except his office. When we visited a few weeks ago, I took Jon through the house a bit, and of course visited the office. Stepping into the space, I felt immediately 6 years old again, sneaking into a place I knew I wasn't allowed, hoping to snag a coke out of the fridge. Twenty-some years later, there are still cokes in the fridge in the same location, except this time I can go on in without permission. Standing there was surreal, one room remaining so much the same through so much turbulence in life. Yet it felt so normal, and comforting, to feel like something  had remained the same through all of life's changes.

Ticky-Tacky was somewhat like that too. Very steady and nearly unchangeable.  We always knew what to expect - jokes, thoughts, the story about how he found an error in the dictionary, pointed it out to the authors, and didn't get a new dictionary in return. Maybe there'd be some mumbling about something or the other, however there was always a presence of love, and I would always leave with the solid knowledge he'd be very glad when I returned.

I'm going to miss that. A lot. (I can tell because I'm crying just writing about it!). It would be wrong if I didn't. And I hope I miss it for a long time, and seek to emulate the same welcoming in our own home when we settle down one day.

I am glad for one thing though. The next time we see him, there will be no returning, just a huge greeting and lots of laughter and sharing. I'll get to know him as a young man, and see him at his best. He himself will probably be able to speak a few languages (he was always in awe that I could speak German), and we'll all be together in a place that has always been Home in our hearts, in a place even more steadfast than Ticky Tacky's office - our place in God's presence, in His welcome and love.

Oh no! I'm one of THOSE people!!

You remember when you were a kid, and there were people (normally friends of your parents or relatives you didn't get to see that often) who would see you and then not see you for some time, and then when they'd see you again, they'd go on and on about how big you've become, how much you've grown, and on and on? And you're thinking "Well, duh, I'm a growing boy. Seriously, what were you expecting, that I'd look like an 8 year old for the rest of my life?" Remember those silly people?

At age 26, I've become one of them.

The Kepley family was a blessing to Calvin's Mu Kappa chapter. They always opened their home to us for meals, retreats and a variety of other activities. Especially us leaders spent a lot of time getting to know them. After I graduated, I stayed somewhat involved with Mu Kappa and also got into a mentorship relationship with Mr. Kepley. Thus, from 2002 to 2008, I got to know the Kepleys, including their daughters, VERY well. By the time I left Grand Rapids, those two fun, sweet, little girls who always had fun with all the college MK's who kept coming to their home, were (I think) 11 and 9. And that was the last time I saw them for over three years.

On the way back from Charlevoix on Friday, we stopped in Grand Rapids to have lunch with the Kepleys. They were excited to meet this girl I met in Maryland and eventually married. But I just couldn't imagine what Rachael and Emilee would look like as teen and preteen. They'd always been little girls! So when we got to that familiar house of so many fun memories, I was shocked to be greeted by two smiling, big girls. They're starting to become women!

I believe part of that has to do with the nomadic lifestyle I've led. I've never spent more than 4 years in a row in the same home. Life moves on, and families move to different horizons (especially ours, maybe), and with time contacts get lost. My longest friendships I still maintain somewhat frequent contact for date back to college, and all those people are around my age, so our lives have been developing in similar stages. I'm not used to having people know me for most of their lives.

So it suddenly struck me as weird that, when I got up to get seconds and Sara commented, "He eats a lot," the 14 year old replied with a smile, "Yeah, we know him." Obviously, I've been in this teenager's life pretty much as long as she can remember! How odd!

But that's a good kind of weird. Familiarity with good friends is nice.

Charlevoix: Day 4

Yesterday we had a very unique day. We drove down to Traverse City, and then up the Leelanau Peninsula to visit some wonderful wineries! We went to Mawby and Black Star, and enjoyed it very very much. At Mawby we were able to sequester a little table away from the crowd and overlooking the vineyard to enjoy some sparkling wine and goat cheese. At Black Star we got caught in the rain, however were able to enjoy a delectable little lunch in their cafe, and then of course the wine tasting. They make really nice wines up here!

We came back "home," ate some pizza with the family, and then took a nap :o) The evening was spent chilling, rubbing moisturizer on the sun burn, and watching "Dan in Real Life" - the perfect movie to watch when on vacation with the family.

"Grant"ed a Visit!

This afternoon we had a nice visit from Grant, a friend of Jon's from college. (hence the title of the blog, he-he) Also a fan of soccer, he watched the World Cup Women's Final (Japan vs. US) with us. This turned out to be a brilliant game, and I believe Jon and I are now interested in following Women's Soccer. The game is simply cleaner than when the men play - there's less faking of injuries and drama about bad calls. This game seemed to be two ridiculously good teams, with tremendous teamwork, playing a good game of soccer. They all fought hard for the victory, which Japan earned in penalty kicks, and played ferociously. The women handled themselves professionally both on and off the field.  By the end of the game, I'd say the future of women's soccer - taken seriously-  - is very bright.

Grant also will be taking a trip to France soon, and wanted to learn from Jon's expertise in this matter! Jon propped up a map on the door to our balcony, and I couldn't help but take a picture :o)

Delving into the map of France:

Jon pointing out the roman ruins: