As most of you who read this blog probably know, our father's father and our grandpa(Ticky-Tacky, Pop-pop, Chief, Al, and a myriad other nicknames he has gathered over the years) is currently dying. He about 86 years old, so in essence we all knew this day would be coming... however I am not sure that it makes anything easier. Death simply is not something we were designed for, and it speaks to the brokenness of the world.
On a purely subjective and selfish note, and in my pursuit to express my own internal emotions - I've been intrigued to watch myself go through the tidal waves of emotion that, must be, grief and the impending sense of loss. I've never lost anyone this close to me, so I'm completely unsure how to prepare Jon for whatever I'll go through. So far, I've noticed - for me - feelings come in batches. I'll be completely okay, and then suddenly a memory, thought, or simply a friend asking how I'm doing (as someone did in church today), and the tears start pouring out and I'll be overwhelmed by emotion. And then it will pass. And then it will come again. Its good to be aware of and I'm learning how to allow myself to feel pain fully, and not just dismiss it to be "strong" - as if I have to prove I'm strong to anyone! And it's been helpful to hear how everyone else is doing as well.
And good to have a husband to whom God gave VERY long arms, which can wrap around me instantaneously if available.
I will keep you all updated, and prayers for my family are coveted to be sure!
And, of course, I'll update everyone on the massage class we took today - first we'll have to practice a little bit to be sure we learned something!
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